Monday, 7 December 2015

Safe to say, the last two months have been a bumpy ride. I’ve been struggling a lot with my indigestion to the point that at meal times, I find it hard to get food down into my stomach. I don’t know why this happens, but it really does make eating uncomfortable - especially when you have to chew something to the point it becomes a part of your phlegm and even then, it’s still really uncomfortable to swallow because you feel like you might choke or there is too much trapped wind in your oesophagus to swallow the food down.

It’s one of the reasons why I’ve felt so unmotivated to do anything - blogging, reading, Dutch, general conversation as the indigestion keeps me up all night. I’ve felt pretty pathetic that indigestion is causing me this much trouble. I find it hard to sleep at night, to shut my brain down from thinking ‘what if I choke on air in my sleep?’ as stupid as it sounds. I’ve had countless nights where I’ve had to run into my parents room from where the trapped wind is so painful and so uncomfortable that I’m having panic attacks over it. I hate it. And not only is it affecting my ability to do things, but it’s making me become very frustrated with things around me far easier than I should be.

On top of that, Davy and I only get to talk between 2-3 hours a day, during the week as he has been having very long shifts. This means by the time we get into a conversational topic, we have to say night already. It can be quite frustrating especially when the both of you wish you could talk longer than the amount you do.