Monday, 7 December 2015

Stressful Autumn

Safe to say, the last two months have been a bumpy ride. I’ve been struggling a lot with my indigestion to the point that at meal times, I find it hard to get food down into my stomach. I don’t know why this happens, but it really does make eating uncomfortable - especially when you have to chew something to the point it becomes a part of your phlegm and even then, it’s still really uncomfortable to swallow because you feel like you might choke or there is too much trapped wind in your oesophagus to swallow the food down.

It’s one of the reasons why I’ve felt so unmotivated to do anything - blogging, reading, Dutch, general conversation as the indigestion keeps me up all night. I’ve felt pretty pathetic that indigestion is causing me this much trouble. I find it hard to sleep at night, to shut my brain down from thinking ‘what if I choke on air in my sleep?’ as stupid as it sounds. I’ve had countless nights where I’ve had to run into my parents room from where the trapped wind is so painful and so uncomfortable that I’m having panic attacks over it. I hate it. And not only is it affecting my ability to do things, but it’s making me become very frustrated with things around me far easier than I should be.

On top of that, Davy and I only get to talk between 2-3 hours a day, during the week as he has been having very long shifts. This means by the time we get into a conversational topic, we have to say night already. It can be quite frustrating especially when the both of you wish you could talk longer than the amount you do.

This week he is working 42 hours which is going to be tough to deal with for us, because we are so close to being together for Christmas but the days drag on so much when he has these 10 hour shifts - and I guarantee you, his manager/shift runners will not let him have a break during any of them either. No matter how many times he asks, he hasn’t had one for the last month. Which is illegal in the Netherlands, because after 5 and a half hours, an employee is allowed to have a 30 minute break (whether it’s split up into two 15mi ones or as 30min chunk) but they just ignore the fact that their staff are overly exhausted and keep them working. I used to get so mad, and still do, at the fact that his employer doesn’t allow him to have a proper break to just rest his legs for a few minutes. I’m never angry at Davy for it, as I know that it can get him down too. I’ve stopped reminding him to make sure to have a break, because I know even if he begs his manager or shift-runner to give him one - they’ll just waft him away and be like ‘it’s too busy’ even when it hasn’t been.

I am so proud of Davy though. Last week he got a promotion. He went from being a normal pizza driver to being the head driver as you will, ‘the delivery route supervisor’ which also meant he got a pay rise of 50 cents. He has worked so hard in this job for the last 8 months so that he can save up money for when we close the distance. I’m so grateful for all the effort he puts into work, into us and making sure we’re happy.

Recently, I also sent Davy’s family some Christmas cards. I sent one to his Mum (and extended family) and his sister Malou with two wish bracelets for each of them. Just to show them how appreciative I am of their incredible support and understanding, especially this year which has been very up and down for me because it does mean a lot to me - especially as it’s hard to find support from people as it is so thank you guys!

I also sent my wonderful sister Stefi a Christmas card with a wish bracelet too. She’s also getting a book for Christmas, and we’ve done most of our Christmas shopping for everyone else. Davy still refuses to tell me what my present is because it’s a surprise. Pffftttt :P But I know he only wants to keep it a surprise because he enjoys seeing my goofy face light up when he does such things xD

Anyway, that’s what’s been happening lately. I hope to have an update in the next weeks up before Christmas! And maybe one after that, if I don’t get too distracted giving Davy kisses, cuddles and tickles :’)

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